Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Changed blog name

I finally changed the blog name. I didn't realize that the first thing you typed in (Finally a blog the name of my first post ) would be the name of my entire blog.

Following my friend Michele Davies whose blog http://dolphin-log.blogspot.com/ is named Dolphin Blog and she gives her reasons, here is mine.

I was inspired by William Blake's poem on the Tiger.

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And What shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?



It personifies the power, beauty and grace of the tiger as the King of the Jungle and since ahem, I'm the self crowned king of the house! My son's nickname is tigrito (little tiger in spanish)

Grrr!

FT - Martin Lukes Dec 20th

Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com

Published: December 20 2006 17:25 | Last updated: December 20 2006 17:25

Martin’s Blog

MONDAY DECEMBER 18

Wintertide, as you know, is a time for giving. This year we are going to give back to the future by sowing our DNA in our children’s children.

How? I myself am doing this in two ways. First I have signed up to the StopGlobalWarning virtual march along with my friends Al Gore, Hillary Clinton and Leonardo Di Caprio. We will be virtually marching the globe demanding that something is done to make our agenda actionable. Check me out on the sgw website!

Second up, I have launched a scheme called One Million Trees, One Million Dreams. As I have personally commissioned the first hundred trees to be planted, each will have a unique dream of mine carved into the bark. As the tree grows the dreams will grow too! The cost is £150 per tree so get planting – and dreaming!

Have a joyous Wintertide, and keep it Green!

Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Dexter.Jones@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: bark!

Hi Dexter – Thanks for your message. This is a highly serious project so I don’t appreciate your “flippant” remark. FYI carving on the trunks of the young trees will be done in a way that does not negatively impact on the tree’s wellness. However if you don’t have a dream to share, your trunk can be blank! Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Trixie.Cook@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: yr father’s pneumonia

I’m very sorry to hear that your father is poorly. Of course you must fly home. When my father died I was by his bedside 24/7, and it meant a lot to him. Obviously I’m not saying that your father is going to die – I hope he continues to strive and thrive going forward!!!
Martin

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.co.uk

SUBJECT: t-shirt

Peachie – thanks for the organic T-shirt, will wear it tonight... Is the lion meant to be me? I like the “respect my spirit” slogan, though I think you’d better respect me discreetly at the party. We need to be careful...

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FROM: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.co.uk on 18/12/06

TO: All.Staff@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: party time tonight!!

Hi! This is a call to everyone to wear your dancing Ugg boots and mufflers tonight! The theme is sustainability so we are turning off the heating on the dance floor and will be generating our own heat and and light! Kick-off in the staff restaurant at 8pm!!

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: asbo???????????????????

Michelle – what the HELL is this summons to go to the police station? Asbo????? Tell them that I have a Seasonal Party to attend.

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Fiona.Shackleton@phb.co.uk

SUBJECT: Emergency


Hi Fiona, I know Asbos aren’t your usual line of business but I have been threatened with one by the Environmental Agency following flytipping of some a-b glöbâl chairs. Turns out that the company we employed, Dump4Less, disposed of them in a field, and apparently the person to blame is my good self for not checking them out. This is completely absurd. Can you send someone to Canning Town police station soonest??

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Jake.Lukes@gmail.com

SUBJECT: Crimble

Jake – Am disappointed that you and Jade are off to Mauritius for xmas instead of coming to me. Though it’s your call, it’s pretty selfish, especially given what a crap time I’m having. Currently am at the police station (don’t ask) rather than being at our Christmas party. My one key learning this year: the more you try to do the right thing the less anyone thanks you. Happy crimble, Dad

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 18/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.com

SUBJECT: on my way

Finally, am on my way to the party... police a nightmare. will tell later. Save a dance for me. x

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 19/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.com

SUBJECT: ur dumped

u r a slag anda liar and I am dumping you and yr contract is terminated. How do you think it felt for me arrivein from police stationt o find u and Dexter pawing each other like that???

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 19/12/06
TO:
Trixie.Cook@a-bglobal.com
SUBJECT:
stranded. help

Trixie...are u there? am stranded near Liverpol st. its 3am. can you getme a cab?? I need my personal publicist..would be helpful if you didn’t fly back to the US just now...M

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 19/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.com

SUBJECT: all’s well that end’s well...xxx

Peachy – Thanks for coming to find me last night and taking me home... You are quite something. Did I ever tell you that? Sorry if I was ott. I’ve just had some amazing news and I want you to be first to know. I’m Management Today’s Green Manager of the Year!! They say I’m an outstanding thought leader and green role model!!

Did I tell you family xmas is off? Let’s go somewhere instead, just u and me. Far away and hot. M x

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Lunch with the FT -Richard Dawkins

Folks, I've decided to come out of the closet!!

Close friends of mine have known this (I know that viado Pranay saying, "I knew it all along, you were a viado!!!" This is a long standing joke between the two of us. Just in case you didn't understand what viado means (it's the derogatory form of gay in Portugese.) , I'm an ATHEIST.

BTW (By the way) , I'm not anti-gay. One of the chapters in the book The God Delusion explains one of the many dangers of religion, making people anti-gay or even anti people who are atheists like yours truly and Dawkins. I completely agree.

Anyway, it calls for another blog post that I'd planned Atheism (sub-title being the Scientific Way of thinking) Vs Religion

In the last edition of the FT week-end there was an interview with Richard Dawkins (Author of books like The Selfish Gene, The BlindWatchMaker, The God Delusion)

Here it is reproduced in full. Enjoy!

Lunch with the FT: Richard Dawkins

By Clive Cookson

Published: December 15 2006 15:50 | Last updated: December 15 2006 15:50

Richard Dawkins looks like a typical don, riding his old-fashioned bicycle complete with wicker basket into an alleyway off Oxford High Street. He props the bike against the ramshackle 17th-century building that houses the Chiang Mai Kitchen and joins me inside for a meal.

Dawkins, the current (and first) Charles Simonyi Professor of the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford, may be a militant atheist and Britain’s greatest bioscience celebrity, but after 36 years on the university’s staff, his conversational manner is unmistakeably civilised and academic. There is none of the strident arrogance or anger that critics sometimes detect in Dawkins’s television appearances and, indeed, in some of his books.

Nor does he show false modesty. We are meeting a week before the autumn publication of The God Delusion, his brilliantly argued attack on all forms of religion. He tells me that he has just checked the Amazon bestseller list, and been gratified to find the book at number two in the UK, even though it is not yet officially available. Recognition and influence matter to Dawkins: he makes clear his disapproval of anonymous articles in newspapers. “If a colleague or friend dies and I’m asked to write an obituary, I tend to go for The Guardian or The Independent, where obituaries are signed, rather than The Times or Telegraph, where they are not,” he says. “I want my love or appreciation to be recognised.”

The food hardly distracts us from weightier subjects. Although Dawkins chose the restaurant because he “loves Thai cooking”, he takes little interest in the menu, quickly accepting my suggestion of one noodle and two rice dishes with prawns, beef and duck.

While we wait for our meal, Dawkins tells me how much he enjoys writing. The God Delusion was much less work than its predecessor, The Ancestor’s Tale, he says. The latter was a major work of evolutionary biology, which took five years to write with a full-time research assistant, tracing back the ancestry of life from modern humans to the first microbes almost four billion years ago.

Dawkins gets most pleasure from the final stages of authorship. “I enjoy the perfecting, titivating stages more than the blank screen at the beginning,” he says. “I do a lot of cutting and editing - it is gratifying to find something I can cut without losing the cadences of the passage.”

He is not the sort of author who sends his typescript out to a wide circle of friends and colleagues to read before submitting it to the publisher. “Writing by committee usually dulls a book,” he says. “But I do find that one or two very compatible souls can be extremely helpful critics, can be a second eye.”

Dawkins’s most important writing assistant is his wife, the actress Lalla Ward, “who reads the whole book aloud to me at different stages of development. Hearing my own words coming from another voice is very revealing. If she has trouble finding the right emphasis, then I know I have to made a change”, he says. He recommends the practice to other authors, even if the reader does not have as beautiful and well- trained a voice as Ward’s.

As three steaming bowls appear in front of us, fragrant with herbs and spices, I ask Dawkins what sort of response he hoped to get from The God Delusion and its televisual prelude, his two-part documentary Root of All Evil? which caused a furore after its transmission on Channel 4 in January. “I don’t want just to annoy people - I want to change people’s minds,” he says.

In his most optimistic moments, Dawkins imagines that “religious readers who start the book will be atheists by the time they finish it.” More realistically, he admits: “I’m not going to change the minds of many dyed-in-the-wool faith-heads.” He believes there is “a middle ground of open-minded people who have vaguely ticked the Church of England box but have not really thought it through”, people whom he hopes to persuade to “break free of the vice of religion altogether”. At the minimum he hopes to turn agnostics into outright atheists. Although Dawkins believes the world would be a more peaceful and better place without gods, I get the impression that his attack is more motivated by intellectual outrage in the face of religion’s irrationalities.

But has not Dawkins taken on a task that he, as an evolutionary biologist, should recognise is impossible? Superstition and belief in magic and religion have dominated every known human culture, as he knows all too well. Although this does not mean that some form of God (or gods) must exist, it implies that evolution has endowed us with an extremely strong religious instinct - which rational campaigning has no chance of stamping out. When I put this point to Dawkins, he says I am being defeatist. (Although I have not said so directly, he assumes that I too am an atheist.)

“Religion has been eradicated in me and a lot of my friends,” he says, transferring dainty spoonfuls of Thai food to his plate. “There is a strong correlation between religion and education: the more educated people are, the less religious.”

Why then is the US so much more religious than European societies with a broadly similar level of education and wealth? Dawkins does not claim to understand the “quite extraordinary level of religiosity in America”, but he floats a few speculative explanations. One is that the US is a society of immigrants who have been cut adrift from their roots - and turned to churches to fill the gap. Neither of us is quite convinced.

The next idea is that the constitutional separation of church and state has helped American religion. “In western Europe, established religion is background muzak and is not taken seriously,” he says. “In the US, religion has become free enterprise, with all the benefits of high-pressure advertising and marketing.”

We feel there may be something in this but then Dawkins asks: “What about a ‘critical mass’ theory?” He suggests that the US has a critical mass of religious people who encourage one another to proclaim their belief, whereas “in Europe, people who are religious try to hide it in social settings. At a smart London or Oxford dinner party people would not admit [to being religious], but a smart dinner in Dallas or San Antonio might begin with grace.”

Our discussion leaves the US with the mystery unresolved. After we have ordered green tea, I suggest that an ultra-advanced civilisation could have evolved through a long period of Darwinian evolution to a level of technology beyond human comprehension. How would an intelligence that could, for example, create new universes differ from God?

Dawkins agrees that in practice such an advanced intelligence might be indistinguishable from a deity. But the key point would be the way it had arisen in evolutionary steps. Although Dawkins does not want to tackle the ultimate existential question - why anything exists at all - he notes that “it is orders of magnitude more difficult to understand why a complex creative intelligence should just have happened than to understand why a ‘big bang’ happened.”

By now we have finished our tea, the bill appears and Dawkins says he must leave soon for another meeting. So I turn to his future. The God Delusion is “probably the culmination” of his war against religion, he says, though he will continue to campaign against irrational ideas. One vehicle will be another two-part programme for Channel 4, provisionally entitled The Rational Inquirer, looking at telepathy and other paranormal phenomena. He is also looking forward to starting work on an anthology for Oxford University Press, “which I’d like to be a shop window for the most beautiful writing by scientists on a scientific theme”. But Dawkins says he has not yet decided on another really ambitious project on the scale of his works on evolutionary biology and religion.

One preoccupation is his fast-approaching academic retirement. Dawkins looks like a healthy fiftysomething but in fact he is 65, two years short of the age at which Oxford makes its professors give up their university chairs. Dawkins does not oppose compulsory academic retirement. “If I were in my twenties and looking for an academic job, I might be a bit pissed off if professors could go on for ever,” he says. “I should have thought that the best solution would be compulsory retirement, followed by a voluntary invitation to come back.

“We all know people in universities who are wonderful value in their 70s, such as John Maynard Smith [the late biologist at Sussex],” he adds, warming to his theme. “Every university should have a fund to bring back people like that. Indeed it would be a great idea for a billionaire benefactor to endow a fund for brilliant oldies.”

As it is, a retired professor may be given the title of professor emeritus and an office, but little or no pay. For a moment I imagine an impoverished elderly Dawkins. Then I remember that the income stream from 30 years of scientific bestsellers should see him through a very comfortable retirement - after all, his elegant charcoal jacket and shirt are many cuts above the typical academic attire.

Throughout our meeting Dawkins has been courteous and efficient, conscious that in the time available I was unlikely to get through more than a fraction of the subjects I wanted to discuss. When he had no worthwhile opinion, as on public funding of science, he told me so. He is an engaging companion, yet remains slightly reserved, and I do not think we shall meet again for such a tete-a-tete. As Dawkins cycles off, the nostalgic sadness I feel is only partly due to the autumn light.

Clive Cookson is the FT’s science editor.

Chiang Mai Kitchen, Oxford

1 x mixed seafood noodles

1 x stir-fried beef with Thai curry paste and coconut milk

1 x sweet chilli duck with cashew nuts

2 x Singha beer

2 x green tea

Total: ₤32.20

Ironing Baby Clothes!

I just spent the better half of the last hour ironing baby clothes. I decided to call in "sick" today as I was short on sleep.

Before the lady-wife left for work, she pointed to two large baskets filled with clothes in the living room and said menacingly, " Since you like ironing (yes, I do) I want all those clothes ironed when I come back!"

I meekly squeaked, "Jawhol Herr General!"and before even I had time to give the Nazi salute she was off.

I sent THE WIFE an e-mail after I'd ironed a few clothes (especially Octavio's pyjamas, as I was ironing I said to myself, "Who's going to see the ironed pyjamas apart from us? Do these REALLY need ironing?") Need I iron Octavio's clothes. I see no point when I could rather spend the time more productive reading books.

There is no response yet as it has fallen into that great e-mail hole.

Meanwhile, while waiting for the response, I just finished ironing all the baby clothes.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Pictures of Octavio


These pictures were taken last night right before dinner. We'd invited a co-worker of Mariana for dinner.

The pictures aren't out of focus but are moving as Octavio was dancing!

We can't think Michelle Flores enough for giving clothes. The shirt that Octavio has on is one of my favorites.

Joys of being a dad!

I'm not saying this just because I happen to be the dad of Octavio. Octavio is sooo cute! He's getting cuter by the day and I wish he doesn't get any older or talk.

He's cuter pointing to things and saying "Uh, Uh!".

Close friends of mine know that I love pulling chubby cheeks. I even pull the cheeks of other cute kids in the day-care when I go to pick up Octavio!!!

So this morning while the lady-wife was sleeping and I had to keep him occupied, I carried him (he loves being carried even though it breaks my back, he weighs 16 kg around 35 pounds) and smothered him with kisses!

I realized let me do this before he gets older and rejects me! He can already say "No, No , No " at the same time wagging his index finger!

http://picasaweb.google.com/russramaswamy/Octavio2122

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Brrr! It's cold down under

The biggest reason we moved Down Under (if you go to the touristy sections of Sydney like Paddy's Markets, The Rocks where you can buy cheesy stuff like boomarangs, Dijiredoos and tee-shirts that go G'day mate! you can also buy a world map upside down whcih shows Austraia on top!) was for the weather.

The lady-wife was sick and tired of the Chicago weather and after the birth of our little one, Octavio we wanted to move to some warmer clime.

The average maximum temperature for Sydney is 20 deg C (70 F).
Please check out
http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/world/city_guides/results.shtml?tt=TT003030

The number of cloudy and rainy days can be counted in the fingers of your hand!! Yet, in spite of this great weather, the minute the temperature falls say to 18/19 deg C (65F) ; the lady wife goes, " You can't let Octavio pay outside as it's too cold!!!

I got the same advice from my mom-in-law and thank god she's returned back home as I couldn't really argue with her.

Ok, Ok, In Mariana's defence Octavio has a cold which he hasn't gotten rid off for a month. But this is due to the fact he goes to day-care. Once your kid starts day-care until the age of three, he's going to fall sick.

That's part of life.

I remember back in Chi-town I'd take the baby for a run in the baby jogger. Once it started getting cold (fall season), I'd get some objection from the lady-wife about why I couldn't take the baby out.

Then as if to clinch her argument, she one day finally said, "You can't take the baby out as it's dark!!!" 'DARK!, I shouted back, it gets dark everyday in Chicago.'

Thank heavens, she can't say that here. It's light until 8pm (now that summer's begun).

And for the next assigment we're going to ask for Saudi Arabia!

FT- Martin Lukes Dec 14th

Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com

Published: December 13 2006 17:23 | Last updated: December 13 2006 17:45

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

ADVERTISEMENT

SUBJECT: headspace

Michelle,
Am 140 per cent snowed under... need some headspace to draft a vital memo.

Btw, some idiot from the local council is trying to touch base on something he claims is urgent – inform him that unlike himself, I have a substantial business to helm.

Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.co.uk

SUBJECT: no can do lunch...

Peachy one – Just had bombshell re my bonus from Atlanta. Pretty sure it’s a mistake, but need to sort... so no can do lunch, sorry GB xx
PS your suggestions on our sustainable Xmas bash next week are brilliant. You’re my genius green goddess...

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Cindy.Czarnikow@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: my bonus piece

Hi Cindy,

This morning I received an e-mail from Marshall, stating that my annual bonus is £82,500.

I’m assuming that there is some mistake and a zero has been omitted? In any case, I would like to take this chance to socialise the following concepts.

1. Marshall states that the result for a-b glöbâl (UK) this year will be a tad south of the 05 metric. This is due to an inappropriate business model bedded down by my predecessor.

2. The PBT metric should not be the only one we benchmark. Think delivery of Green Sky. Our future as a species depends on us cracking this climate change nut. Modesty aside, I believe I have won the first battle on hearts and minds and should be financially incentivised to go on and win the next one.

3. Our budget. I have successfully driven through a headset for lower bonuses for my top team. Last week I slashed the bonuses of directors and team leaders by 80 per cent, which required considerable emotional finessing to present to the team.

4. Going forward, sales figures are picking up, which is entirely due to me managing to persuade Dexter Jones to join us from Google. I am coaching him intensely and already seeing results.

5. Morale is humming. After a long absence at a-b glöbâl (UK), the Buzz is Back!!!

Would be happy to drill down on any of these points later today.

All my very bestest, Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Thelma.Dowd@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: a challenge!!

Hi Thelma – following on from our brainbang last week on your performance issues, here is a chance to show how proactive you can be!!
We have a compelling story to tell around this year’s seasonal staff party. We are the first company to be pushing the limits of sustainability into the festive space. I have ordered LCD lights for our holiday tree, which in order to save maximum energy will only be turned on for five minutes in every 30. The hats will be recyclable and the food will have journeyed no more than 50 miles to our mouths! Alice can dot all the i’s for you. Would be very happy to do the interview, though plse make clear cannot discuss Svalbard...

Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Jake.Lukes@gmail.com

SUBJECT: yr bonus!!!

Whoa son! To get £900,000 for your first year in da biz – that’s some bonus! I’m negotiating my own presently, and am anticipating I’ll only come in a bit North of you... the difference being that I’ve had to work for mine!!! The Vintage Krug will be on you this crimble!! Dad

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Marshall.Pfeiffer@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: my bonus

Marshall,
Can I be entirely honest with you? Frankly I’m a tad surprised that Cindy forwarded my e-mail to yourself to answer, and I don’t feel you have taken ownership of any of my points. To bring up Svalbard is particularly surprising. You were not present and therefore cannot judge the scale of the positive energy that I unleashed there.

Until today, I believed that this was a company that rewarded performance in the broadest sense of the word. I am saddened to find that is not the case.

Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: man from council


WHAT? I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHAIRS IN FIELDS. OR FLYTIPPING. IT’S NOT MY PROBLEM. YOU FOUND THE DISPOSAL COMPANY, SO YOU DEAL WITH IT. THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE WORST DAYS ON RECORD. TELL THE COUNCIL TO GET STUFFED.

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Jenny.Withers@gmail.com

SUBJECT: Change to our financial settlement

Jens – Re your message... No, I did NOT tell Jake that I had a bonus of over £1m... And so, no, there will be NO change needed to our financial settlements. In fact, if you want to know, the legacy you left here means that my bonus is TOTALLY SCREWED.

Btw, you haven’t replied to my solicitor’s request that Max and Carly spend Xmas with myself. As a courtesy I should tell you that Jake and his charming girlfriend Jade will be spending the day with myself.

Martin

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FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 11/12/06

TO: Dexter.Jones@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: lunch

Dexter – I see you had lunch with Alice today. Might I ask what the agenda was?
Martin.

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

Regular Reading (Week-end FT) Fast Lane

Well folks, it seems just as I was singing praises of this column Tyler Brule decides to take a break!

Some gentle dreamingbefore saying goodbye

By Tyler Brule

Published: December 9 2006 02:00 | Last updated: December 9 2006 02:00

Where are you reading today's edition of the FT? Are you parked at the breakfast table with a chocolate-brown labrador at your feet and a cup of Earl Grey to your left? Are you sitting quietly by the pool with a stack of weekend reading and a slight hangover from last night's office party? Or are you sitting in an airport lounge waiting for your chosen carrier to call your gate so you can get home after too many days on the road?

I've concocted a series of fantasy scenarios for my weekend reading regime that involve a cosy home tableau in a constantly changing European city, an indoor-outdoor set-up in a tiny Tokyo townhouse and a corner table in the café-cum-newsstand of my dreams. In scenario one I'm in a bright space high above the city and sitting on a bench alongside a well worn table from Truck Works in Osaka, on one wall there's a Mogens Koch shelving system heaving with the best reference library (also a pair of flatscreens running France 24, the new French 24-hour news service, and BBC World) and on the table there's my MacBook Pro, my third cappuccino of the morning, soft boiled eggs in yoghurt and chilli oil and a glass of fresh orange and grapefruit juice, mixed. Not far away Mats is reading a Swedish daily and under the table a Shiba Inu and French bulldog are fighting over a piece of toast. This week the city could be London, San Sebastian or Paris.

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In my Tokyo fantasy, I'm reading a home-delivered copy of this paper, the Daily Yomiuri and my laptop isn't far away - it's playing a download of the latest bulletin from CNN with my friend Fionnuala at the anchor desk in London. I'm sitting on the edge of a narrow deck that leads off the living room into a compact, hinoki-scented garden and there's a tray of assorted western and Japanese breakfast goodies served on Hakusan ceramics. The early winter sun is peaking through the trees and my friends Scott and Craig are visiting for the weekend. The little house has been designed by the firm Intentionallies and features two bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, a small library and a large living room filled with a mix of Japanese, Danish and Norwegian furniture. The Shiba Inu and French bulldog also put in an appearance in Tokyo.

At the café-cum-newsstand of my dreams, the space is a mix of Ruby's in New York, Bills in Sydney, Sign in Daikanyama and Providores (when it's not heaving) in London. The coffees are thick and creamy, there are lots of eggy things on the menu and on the far side of the bar there's a newsstand stocking a highly edited selection of the best newspapers and magazines from around the world - Arne, Australian Gourmet Traveller, Tush, 032C, the NZZ, Il Foglio and some 500 other titles. The staff are wearing uniforms from Hakui and everyone is polite, well scrubbed and fresh-faced. For days when time doesn't permit, the café delivers your breakfast and assorted media on a perfectly balanced bicycle.

At the time of writing this week's column, I'm not even remotely close to any of the three scenarios as I'm in a small, though nicely appointed hotel room in Zurich and there'll be no time to sit and be leisurely with the day's papers. Come Saturday, I already know what the drill looks, sounds and smells like. While I'd love to spend a lazy day in Copenhagen buying Christmas presents from the Greenland shop and eating kanelhorn in various bakeries the reality is that I'll be on a Scandinavian A340 bound for Tokyo. While it's far from a hardship, it's also not remotely close to any of the three places I ideally see myself on an early December afternoon. The good news is that I will be arriving in my favourite city in just over 10 hours, I'll be welcomed back to my fourth official residence (the Park Hyatt), I will be able to experience part of my café fantasy at Sign on Sunday and I won't be short on retail solution for those last remaining Christmas presents.

Finally, a bit of housekeeping. Come December 30 I'm going to be flicking the turning indicator and pulling off the Fast Lane - at least in this current form. In reality I'll still be pin-balling around the world but after almost three years penning this column I'm off to a new series of ventures. For those of you who've never missed a Saturday with me, you'll know I'm no fan of special requests but in the spirit of the season and with three weeks to run I'm happy to indulge any questions or explore any topics you feel I might have missed - including the most asked questions of the last 36 months: 'What is it that you really do?' 'Is that your real name?' 'And how do you really get away with carry-on luggage only?'

Thursday, December 7, 2006

FT-Martin Lukes Dec 7th

Martin.Lukes

By Martin Lukes

Published: December 7 2006 02:00 | Last updated: December 7 2006 02:00

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: bonuses for directors

Michelle - Can you book in all my top team for a five-minute slot each this afternoon to discuss bonus? I might need 10 for Thelma.

Also, my carbon-neutral chair has just arrived and it's pretty impressive. Plse phone the supplier and tell them to deliver 50 more. Ta muchly, Martin

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.co.uk

SUBJECT: bouncy eco chair!!!

Peach - Do you want to come in and have a little bounce on my new EcoStart chair? Am seeing Thelma at 12, so we could road-test it for 20 mins now . . . Green Banana x

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Faith.Preston@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: Thelma Dowd

Faith - Just had a turbo-charged session with Thelma. I told her that she hadn't adopted the can-do, highly pro-active headset I recommended at the last meeting, and suggested a win-win option would be for her to consider pastures new.

She went off the deep end and says she is suing for discrimination, and evidently thinks she can take us to the cleaners. Obviously she doesn't have a leg to stand on, but just thought we should give our lawyers a heads-up . . . Martin

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Faith.Preston@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: Thelma 2

What??? You can tell legal from me that all my top team are girls or foreigners or both, so I don't know what they mean by saying she might win her case . . .

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Alice.Bloom@envirowisdom.co.uk

SUBJECT: snag

Peach - just curious: what were you laughing about with Dexter just now? I've never considered humour to be one of his stronger suits . . . and here's something that isn't funny - it seems I can't fire Thelma, on account of her being a) female and b) old. Unbelievable. Which will mean it'll take me longer to on-board you. Trust me, though, I'll think of something. GB

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: explanatory message re bonuses

I've got my whole team on my back whingeing about their bloody bonuses. Talk about ungrateful. Plse send out the following e-mail - appropriately personalised - to all moaners. Should shut them up.

Dear (insert name)

Thanks for sharing with me some of your issues around your bonus. I thought it might be helpful if I went through some of the background on how the number was arrived at.

In previous years there was a certain lack of alignment and clarity that went into this process. As I explained to you earlier today, we have now come up with a unique matrix that aligns individual performance on 48 competencies with the actual bonuses received by individuals. This means that the process is transparent and uniquely motivational. The only way of growing the bonus going forward is to lift performance on to the next level!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your stick-to-itiveness and your unstinting contribution to making a-b glöbâl UK the jewel in our global crown. Should you wish to brainbang on any performance issue, my door is always open.

All my very bestest, Martin

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 04/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: on second thoughts . . .

. . . can you take out the bit about my door? I can't face dialoguing with any of them again today. See you tomorrow. I'm off to watch the cricket . . .

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 05/12/06

TO: Michelle.Evans@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: sorry if I shouted just then . . .

. . . but I've been up all night watching the fiasco that is England. Large latte would help . . .

BLACK TUESDAY - 5 DECEMBER

As those of you who have worked closely with myself down the years will confirm, I am pretty much a serial optimist. It's not often that I really see red. But when I encounter a missed opportunity like that notched up by the England squad in Adelaide this morning I feel extreme anger.

I know that today many of you will be sharing this rage. I want us all to harness this emotion and learn from it. At 11am today I am calling a two-minute silence.

During those two minutes I want you to feel your rage, and slowly let it go. We are like the England team at close of play on Monday. Under our new team we are now 551 runs for 6 declared. We are not going to throw it away.

Martin, Chief Great Leader

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 05/12/06

TO: Thelma.Dowd@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: follow-up on our meeting yesterday

Thelma - could you pop up and see me? I think you may have got the wrong end of the stick in our meeting yesterday, and I'd like to clarify a couple of issues.

Bestest, Martin

FROM: Martin.Lukes@a-bglobal.com on 05/12/06

TO: Meena.Roy@a-bglobal.com

SUBJECT: chairs

Yes, £11,500 is the figure on chairs. They'll pay for themselves in time as they self-recycle in situ! Worry not though, we've got a great deal on disposing of the old ones. M

Regular Reading

I regularly read the FT (Financial Times) www.ft.com online and the Economist www.economist.com

Even if you don't read the FT daily, be sure to pick a copy of the week-end edition. It is one of the best value for money and has tons of articles catering to wide variety of tastes of the readers.

What appeals tome about these newspapers is that they're not "bulky" like the American equivalents (WSJ- Wall Street Journal, NY Times).

Many of my close friends have chided me re. the conservative bias of these two publications.

The reason I read them is because they provide good reading! The Economist in particular mirrors my political views. I'm a conservative liberal (conservative with my money and liberal with yours!) .

Truth be told, I'm a fiscal conservative (believe in low taxes, small govt,free trade) and a social liberal (pro-choice, legalisation of drugs,prostitution & marijauna , oppose the death penalty, pro-immigration, legalisation of gay marriage, universal health-coverage, reducing green-house gases )

In the FT, the articles I regulary read is Martin Lukes (spoof on corporate life) and Fast Lane by Tyler Brule in the Week-end edition.

Martin Lukes is a pardoy about the jargon-filled-management-B-School-consulting speak!

Fast Lane is written by Tyler Brule (on fashion, travel and the cities he regularly jets around the globe. )

Almost every week, he crosses from London-to-Tokyo and back to London-to-Toronto! Of course he flies Business Class.

Which is why the column is titled FAST LANE.

And we did the same kind of travel when we went to India in Oct and then briefly popped back to Chi-town for two days (for Mariana's green-card interview) and then returned to Delhi and 5 days later flew to Sydney.

The difference was we flew cattle class!

I plan to upload their articles regularly for your reading pleasure.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Exercise-I am not a jock!

Close friends of mine would know that I firmly believe in exercise. It's my philosophy that since we eat everyday we have to exercise everyday. However, short the duration.

Ours ancestors didn't lead the sedentary lives we lead today. Also our eating habits are not the same. We're eating more and more processed foods than before.

Anthropologists (my favorite is Marvin Harris author of Cannibals & Kings) have studied hunter-gatherer societies that exist to this day (e.g. the bushmen in the Kalahari) and have found they have stronger teeth than any man from "civilized" society.

I finally joined a gym and went there during my lunch-break. It brings back memories when I used to go to the gym with Pranay,Jimena and Jim.

Pranay used to crack me up counting in German while he "spotted" me when I bench pressed.

I was a regular at the Y at North & Clyborn for 8 years and went there Mon,Wed,Fri religiously.

I had made "buddies" (never actually exchanging names, maybe with one or two dudes) at the gym would knock our fists against each as a greeting "Yo wazzup bro!"

Whenever I returned after not showing for some days (say vacation or illness), they'd ask about me "Yo what happened, you slackin"

I'd smile sheepishly and give them the reason for my absence.

I was famous for making these loud grunts (orgasmic noises as I used to kid! since I was so ecstatic to be in the gym!) UUUHHHH usually while doing the last rep (repitition if you belong those class of people like my twin. Every morning he gets up and says , "UP,DOWN, UP, DOWN ten times. And now for the other eyelid!"

Pranay would joke, it was the birth of alien 3.

Monday, December 4, 2006

First Blog continues

I managed to convince my boss to hold the meeting tomorrow as his last meeting ran over. I had no desire to stay longer than 5 pm.

Today is my mamita's (my mom-in-law) birthday and the lady wife has made a reservation at a Vietnamese joint in Crows Nest.

A few weeks ago before Mariana's (the lady-wife and CEO of the house; I'm the COO!) cousin returned home after staying with us for 4 odd months taking care of Octavio; as a sort of farewell dinner we went out to eat.

By the time these Latin Chicas made up their mind, we lost our space at the Vietnamese joint.I wanted to eat there as the food looked very good and the place was packed. Most importantly, it was not pricey.

We ended up eating in a Spanish restaurant run by Chinese!! To our pleasant surprise, the food was very good.

Eating out is expensive here in Oz as the minimum wage is round $15/hour.

What Oz needs is more Mexicans to clean the place up!!!

First Blog!

Folks, For one who reads the Economist (www.economist.com) quite religiously and keeps up with Technology Quarterly I never did have a blog until now.

I was advised my friends Hari (years ago) and more recently Radhika to have one.

So here's my first blog written while at work!!

This is my second cushy job. The first was when I worked as an Architect/DBA (Database Administrator) at a start-up company called Neustar (www.neustar.com) They did go public and are one of the few companies that have licence to print money

One of my biggest mistakes was leaving them (though I might have eventually as they moved offices to Virginia).

Otherwise, I could have "retired" like Collin A.

I worked from home most of the time and the days I went into work, I could be seen chatting with the secretary or hanging out at the reception reading magazines.

Once a chap (dude in Americanese) entered the office during lunch-time and finding me there asked me "Do you work here?". I looked behind me as I thought he was talking to someone else.

On not finding anyone, I replied, " I don't! but I sure know they cut my pay-check!!!"



Last week I did grocery shopping at Paddy's Markets to be more productive!

It's a mall on the first floor but in the ground floor there's a market for vendors who sell fruits and vegetables every week (Thu-Sun) from 9am-5pm.

Most shops in Oz close at 5pm except on Thu when they open until 9pm. The only exceptions are chemists and grocery stores like Woolworths, Coles .

It takes getting used to, especially after you've used to living in the US where you have 24 hour Jewel-Osco's, Walgreens (especially if you're like me who buys milk at the last minute)

America is the only country where you can buy a chain-saw at 3 am!! (from Home Depot)

Gotta go now as I have a 4pm meeting with my boss re. project plan.

Watch this space!